As Saturn moves through Aries, it’s colliding with my midheaven and approaching my sun, mercury, and venus. I’m also in my Saturn square, a moment of revisiting themes that came up 7 years ago during my Saturn return.
And I feel the weight.
I hear Saturn saying: okay, let’s get serious and stop messing around.
Here’s one example.
Last week, I returned to some of my magical and deep animist practices after a season away. I first stepped into that work during my Saturn return, and while it was deeply nourishing and life-affirming, I mostly stepped back from it a few years ago, in large part due to my first pregnancy but also because I was struggling with questions of authority.
Because at a certain point in the work, I began to feel an inner tension that was difficult to carry - between following the external directives and specific instructions from the teacher and listening to and trusting myself. I was new to the work, and I wanted to respect it and do it right, but I also sensed I needed to be anchored in self. Still, I often struggled to know how and when to exercise self-trust and discernment.
And all of that came back last week when I returned to some of the practices.
The same questions remained: Who am I here? What is within my authority? How do I engage the work and traditions respectfully and responsibly?
This tension between self and other, between following external instructions and trusting myself, is such a Saturn in Aries quandary – and Saturn asked me to face it head-on.
Here's where I've landed so far:
I believe it’s important to trust people who know more than we do. I’m aware that my fiery Aries nature will barrel ahead without looking back, which can be both reckless and careless but also catalytic and powerful. I also know there is a root of self-trust to which we must all return. Because even if we place our trust in an external authority, that is a choice we make, and there is an internal mechanism we turn to in making those choices, hopefully grounded in our internal knowing and wisdom.
I feel Saturn inviting me into the heart of this, and at this juncture, I’m seeing how much of my life I’ve tried to “get it right” – intellectually, pragmatically, morally – to land somewhere solid and clear, even when that’s not always possible, useful, or even the right question.
Right now, it’s time to be in that push/pull – and become big and sturdy enough to hold the tension of the unanswered or unanswerable question without crumbling.
This is the authority Saturn invites (as I understand it today) – not arriving at the “right” answer we cling to at all costs, but deepening our capacity to be in the messiness of life, navigating the unknowable currents with discernment, dignity, and duty to what matters most.
So if you're in a Saturn season, notice where you're being asked to deepen and solidify capacity, foundations, and authority. What is that invitation for you?