I watched two Netflix documentaries recently, Bikram + Holy Hell -- both about spiritual teachers/cult leaders who abused their power (+ their students).
I’m thankful to the survivors + the filmmakers for telling these stories.
Because abuse in the psycho-spiritual world is definitely a thing.
And like some of the abuse that's come to light in religious settings, it’s an especially fucked up thing because it harms people by exploiting some of their deepest + most vulnerable yearnings (for belonging, meaning, the sacred, spiritual connection, etc.).
It’s abuse that hides under claims of enlightenment + secret knowledge + transcendent truth -- and inside of directives to surrender to a higher authority (theirs) + not ask questions (because to do so would be a failure of faith) + trust the teacher above their own sovereignty + inner knowing.
What I appreciated about both these documentaries is that several of the victims spoke honestly about the beautiful + life-changing experiences they had with the teacher who also abused them and/or their friends.
Which highlights an important point:
Just because someone offers something helpful or life-changing (or has deep wisdom, spiritual power, or miraculous abilities to share), doesn’t mean they are an inherently good or trustworthy human.
And in any spiritual space (especially ones where there’s a power dynamic at play), it’s an extremely good idea to bring the full power of our healthy skepticism + grounded discernment + bone-knowing with us.
In my own life, I have teachers + mentors I look to for spiritual guidance + support (people I respect in no small part because they refuse to be made into gurus), and even as I trust + appreciate them, I know to never trust them more than I trust myself + to never surrender my own agency + authority along the way.
I know I always need to trust myself first, be willing to ask hard questions, and walk away if it’s the right thing.
And I hope that wherever our spiritual paths take us, we remember to ground into our power + inner knowing, choose the boundaries that makes sense for us, and put self-trust at the center.