Sometimes, perfectionism sneaks into my self-care.

(Even though perfectionism is the opposite of self-care.)

It looks like judging the things I might do to care for myself in terms of how productive or virtuous they are.

I start thinking there’s a right + wrong way -- practically, ethically, spiritually.

That a walk in the woods is more virtuous than an hour of Netflix or that an hour of journaling is more productive than a nap or that a meditation session is better than a one-person dance party.

But self-care is throwing all of that away to simply listen to ourselves.

Because sometimes, that thing we’re deciding is a waste of time (the nap, the IG scrolling, or the hour of trashy TV) is precisely the medicine our body + spirit most need in the moment.

Sometimes, we need movement + active energy. Sometimes, we need rest + stillness. Sometimes, we need communion + connection. Sometimes, we need solitude + alone time. Sometimes, we need effort + devotion. Sometimes, we need disconnection + letting go.

And in my experience, this often changes day to day, hour to hour.

There are no final answers.

Plus, looking for the “best” or “right” way to care for ourselves misses the point, which is developing + deepening our relationship with ourselves,

Listening to our bodies + spirits + nervous systems -- and letting them want what they want + need what they need,

And bringing (+ being led by) a spirit of curiosity, kindness, and care.

So whatever we choose to do or not to take care of ourselves, how might we lead with love, be nourished by kindness, and listen with care?