I was a competitive swimmer in college, and I absolutely loved it.

My first year, I qualified for the national swim meet as part of a relay, and each year that followed, it was my goal to qualify for nationals again.

It didn’t happen the next year or the year after that. And then I arrived at my senior year.

This was my last chance.

I wondered: would I be crushed if I didn’t reach my goal?

I considered this carefully. I wanted the season ahead to be the best one yet, and I also wanted to end this 10-year swimming adventure in a way that felt satisfying and solid.

So maybe I should just forget about my goal? (so that my swimming career wouldn’t end in disappointment.)

But no, the goal was an essential part of my experience, and to fully wring all the goodness out of this last season, I knew I had to embrace the goal more than I ever had.

I had to lean in 100%

And to do this, I had to be willing to fail. I had to open myself to the experience and how much it mattered to me. I had to feel the vulnerability of love, desire, and wanting. I had to give it everything I had and accept the results and feelings that followed.

Now, some of you know how this all turned out. I did fail. I didn’t qualify for the national swim meet.

And that was a hard thing.

But it wasn’t a devastating thing.

Because I had made the decision ahead of time that I would risk this very outcome in order to have the experience I wanted.

And this decision to step forward into possibility, uncertainty, and desire opened up so much space.

It made swimming something more than it ever was, and it changed me forever.

This is the magic of failure - of risking it, welcoming it, and willingly stepping into spaces where it might exist.

It expands our edges, makes us bigger, and deepens our lives.

Only you can know if risking failure is worth it and right for you in any given situation, but if your fear is always and immediately telling you it’s not, I’d encourage you to take another look.

There’s probably magic that’s waiting for you to say yes, take that risk, and step forward.