Earlier this week, I was on the phone with someone I trust, crying and spinning in a spiral of disconnection + lostness + shame.

This is what this person DIDN’T do:

They didn’t give me a step-by-step guide to feeling better.

They didn’t help me find the negative thoughts that were making me sad + tell me to think better ones.

They didn’t give instructions or outline action steps for how to fix it.

This is what they DID do:

They helped me plug back into my body, feel what was real, and tell the truth.

And this was everything.

Because I had temporarily lost my connection to me.

I was looking for the answers elsewhere and forgot to trust myself.

(Because even though I know better, I sometimes still seek out the comfort of someone else telling me what to do.)

All of this reminded me that self-trust is gritty + deep work.

Self-trust asks us to reckon with the truth that everything is always changing (including our own selves),

That there are no rules or “shoulds” we can lean on indefinitely,

That the truth is only ever true right now,

That knowing is a minute-by-minute thing,

That we need to always be in conversation with ourselves — feeling our feelings + plugging into our bodies — to know what the next right thing it.

So this week, I’m doing a reset. I’m not coaching myself or using my tools to Get Stuff Done or paying much attention to the voices of others.

I’m plugging back into me + mending that gap.

I’m sinking into my body and asking:

What do I feel?
What do I know?
What’s real now?

And then I’m letting myself feel + know those things.

There’s value in looking elsewhere + learning from others’ wisdom + ideas.

But never at the expense of our own authority. Never in ways that undermine our foundations of self-trust.

Because connection with self comes first.