I *love* cult documentaries. They’re so fascinating + relevant + relatable + spooky around human nature -- how we form communal bonds, what we’re willing to tolerate (+ in what circumstances), what we choose to see or ignore, how we justify behavior (others + our own), and why manipulation + gaslighting are so effective.

I think we can all relate to staying in situations longer than was good or right for us, trusting someone who didn’t earn it, or experiencing manipulation that led us off track. I know I can.

I especially felt this watching the Vow on HBO, a docu-series about NXIVM -- a personal development cult.

It was chilling, horrifying...and familiar.

I’ve never been sucked into a cult, but I’ve definitely touched the edges of this type of manipulation + abuse of power in my own dealings with the self-help/personal development/psycho-spiritual world. Things like...

...Eroding self-trust (to create an opening for abusers or cult leaders to claim they have secret knowledge or all the answers).

...Encouraging people to deny reality + blame themselves for their own suffering (gaslighting).

...Using manipulation as a marketing tool (because people need the help, so it’s for the greater good).

...Peddling emotionally abusive messages like: Your suffering is happening because you’re not believing the right thoughts (or because you’re not willing to truly commit by joining my cult, giving me money, etc.)

These days, I’m a skeptic, ready to leave any situation or abandon any teacher the moment things start to get weird or feel off.

And I keep coming back to this:

Just because someone is smart, a good teacher, shares useful tools or practices, does positive things in the world, or changes your life *doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean they are a good person who can be trusted*.

And it certainly doesn’t mean they know more about what’s right for you than you do.