Grief is an opportunity to love ourselves more.

(Just as any hard thing is an opportunity to love ourselves more.)

As I’ve been in my own grief this week, I’ve noticed lots of moments when I’ve been tempted to be mean to myself.

...To judge myself for feeling bad (because I “should” be able to make myself feel better),

...To beat myself up for having moments of feeling less like an emotionally grounded, mature adult and more like a toddler who didn’t get her way + is tantruming because the feelings are too big,

...To make myself wrong for having an experience of grief that is less a cathartic river of depth, sorrow, and connection and more an embarrassing breakdown of irritability, anxiety, and ungroundedness,

...To push myself back into “normal” levels of productivity + activity + engagement, even though my entire nervous system is asking for something else.

So a lot of my work this week has been about simply affirming + loving myself,

Giving myself kindness + care + understanding,

Resting + taking space (more than I think I “should” need),

Repeating simple + soothing phrases to myself like:

It’s okay to feel this way.

Nothing’s gone wrong.

This is normal + okay.

I love you.

This is what being human is all about: messy feelings + chaotic energies are part of it.

I’m proud of you.

I’m remembering that the point of grief isn’t to get to the “other side” (whatever that means) as quickly as possible.

It’s about loving ourselves through the hard stuff.

It’s about having our own backs when it gets messy + feels like too much.

It’s about not making our feelings wrong.

It's about letting ourselves be human + loving our human selves, just as we are.

So whatever hard thing you’re going through, how might you love yourself just a little more fiercely + deeply through it?

What might it mean to make love the priority + the center + the reason?