When I first met Jonathan 9 years ago, he was a super bro-y dude from LA who knew more about fashion, gym work-outs, and pick-up culture than feminism, social justice, and progressive politics.

All of this was alarming to me. I told him that. And he listened to me.

When we first met, Jonathan was someone who didn’t know much about a lot of the things I cared about. But he was also someone who was curious about the world, someone who obviously cared deeply about the wellbeing of other humans -- someone who was kind, open, responsive, and emotionally available.

And in that, he was someone I recognized -- someone I knew.

Nine years later, he’s a gritty + devoted activist who’s done things like hunger strike for 22 days in support of climate action (happening now - today is day 13) + open a food pantry in his church that feeds hundreds of people a week + march 30 miles overnight in support of BLM.

I’ve shared this a few times with friends who’ve met someone they’re vibing with but have concerns that the other person doesn’t know enough, isn’t progressive enough, or isn’t invested enough in what matters to them.

Because while I’m all for choosing whatever boundaries + deal-breakers make sense, I also believe that where we are (+ where we’re starting from) is less important than the orientation + perspectives + commitments we bring.

I try to remember this as I relate to myself too. It’s easy to judge where I am in a moment. It’s easy to feel like I’m not enough in some way. And when this happens, I try to remember to anchor into what really matters: my openness to the world around me, my commitment to kindness, my willingness to learn, and my determination to grow.

With Jonathan, I was able to feel into these deeper currents of who he was + where that might take him -- and take us together. And it’s been really good.

It helps me remember + anchor into the currents + commitments I want informing + shaping my life, self, and future trajectory.

Because I know *that* is what will take me where I most want to go + help me become the person I most want to be.