joy

Our Rage is Necessary

I want to talk about rage.  This emotion is often misunderstood and villainized – pushed away or misused in ways that cause harm or hurt.  But we need our rage, as it serves so many important functions and is a natural response to injustice, oppression, and brutality of all kinds.  Now more than ever, we need the full spectrum of emotion – including our rage – to navigate the world, discern paths forward, and care for ourselves in the midst of hard times and difficult circumstances.

First, I believe rage serves an important function in not letting us forget what’s real. It tethers us to reality, reminds us who we are, and calls us to live in integrity. As an ambassador of the truth, our rage is holy and important.

Rage helps us call out and resist gaslighting (attempts to disconnect us from our truth and groundedness in reality through manipulation, isolation, and denial because we are easier to control that way). Because in addition to the violence, injustice, and villainy that’s happening in the world, we also have to sort through and deal with the cacophony of voices that are minimizing the horror, denying reality, and refuting basic facts. Our rage helps us do this by pulling us back to center, empowering us to set hard boundaries, and connecting us with others around shared purpose and values.

I believe rage does not want to be fixed. It does not want to be controlled, forced, coerced, or judged (to be clear: this is different than choosing our words and actions responsibly in response to our rage).  Rage wants space to move and permission to be.  It wants to be loved and accepted as a valid energy that deserves to exist - that often needs to exist in order to name injustice, transmit information, inspire action, and move energy.

I notice that when I push against an uncomfortable or painful emotion, including my rage, it fights me back, often refusing to let me go until I listen. But when I acknowledge its presence, accept its company, and trust that I’m big enough to hold and be with it, the emotion can more easily do its alchemizing work and keep moving.  Feeling rage is often still difficult, but trusting myself (and remembering my emotions mean me no harm) brings relief and helps me more easily access the gifts that come with surfing the rapids to the other side.

I also believe rage and joy can coexist. More than that, they have to.  Over the past few days, I've been in a constant state of rage - everything from outright fury to despondent anger to steely resolve. I have also intentionally made space for joy, care, and connection.  Last week, for instance, I painted walls with my sweetheart, coached a client I adore, and went dancing with a friend. This was essential.

Rage is a powerful energetic source that we can use and channel into all sorts of goodness: just action, true words, fierce care, creative projects, and bold resistance. So where is the energy of your rage calling you next? What truths are underneath it? What love is fueling it?  And how will you answer the call of that love?