In matters of discerning and deciding, I’ve often been obsessed with getting to the “right” answer or choosing the “right” thing.

But I’ve found this approach to decision-making often devolves into chaotic flurries of mania, pressure, and obsession that, even if it all ends well enough, leaves me in a state of exhaustion and disarray.

So now rather than asking: is this right? - I ask myself this instead: is this a useful container for rightness?

Because I’m learning that most of the time rightness isn’t really found in external circumstances. Instead, rightness lives within me, within all of us - it is a frequency that inhabits the core of our realest selves and truest desires. Our task then is to find those spaces, containers, and portals that will hold that rightness, hum along with it, and reflect it back to us in ways that expand and enliven us.

Seeing it this way has lifted so much of the pressure I used to feel around “getting it right” - because actually, what I need to do first is connect with what already lives within me (and always will) and then explore and play to find those resonant matches and dynamic complements that will expand and deepen that rightness.

There are so many roads to destiny, connection, freedom, and truth - so many ways to love well, wander bravely, and live truly.

So rather than obsessing over which decision is the right one, I remember to live a big life, explore my edges, dive deep, seek out the sacred, set myself free, and create beauty - to focus there first and then ask myself which avenues will best support these projects and aspirations second.

In other words I ask: which directions, containers, and pathways will open up space for what I truly want to do and be in this lifetime? And more often than not, next steps seem to materialize and new roads tend to open from there.