Living from the Future

When I look back on the goals I’ve reached and the dreams I’ve actualized, I see a pattern:

They all required me to inhabit the present and the future simultaneously.

When I was studying Spanish, I had to completely immerse myself in the process of learning the impossible (and surrendering to the accompanying brain strain), while also holding to the bright magic of connection and possibility I knew existed on the other side.

When I was an athlete, I had to feel the thrill of strength, power, and speed in my body that didn’t exist yet, while also pushing through exhaustion in practice and giving my energy and focus to the set in front of me.

When I was learning to coach, it was the beautiful vision of my future self - competent, powerful, and magical - that motivated me to volunteer to practice in front of the whole class and risk failing spectacularly.

My dreams require me to be in two places at once.

They ask me to work from the both-and space where the present touches the future.

They pull me toward the imperative of the humble, practical, day-to-day work in front of me now, just as they ask me to do magic and travel through time to feel what is already real in my imagination.

And when I follow these instructions, it starts to feel like I’m not only walking toward the future, but the future is walking toward me, and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle - in that space where grit, presence, groundedness, imagination, and vision all converge into the magic of actualized possibility

The Power in Transformation

To me, one of the most beautiful things about being human is our ability to change - that we have the power to expand into otherness, shift our ways of thinking, and step into previously unconsidered possibility. It takes effort and willingness on our part, and sometimes hard and scary stuff gets in the way, but our capacity for transformation is one of our human superpowers.

Earlier this week, at the end of our conversation, one of my coaching clients said: “I’m always amazed how I can feel one way coming into these calls and feel completely different an hour later.” I was amazed too (I always am) but not surprised. Because this was simply a reflection of her ability to change her mind, move energy, and open herself to new possibilities - which are powers we all have.

I also think of a DV client I ran into one day at the airport, long after we finished our work together. After a decade in a toxic, abusive relationship, she was now safe, happy, and working for the airline I was flying. She had help and support, but ultimately, she was the one who did the work of taking the risk, changing her mind, and transforming her life.

In moments that feel impossible, I need to remember stories like these. I need to remember the times I’ve seen change happen in myself, in others, and in the world.

Life is hard. Trauma is real. Injustice exists. Not all of us make it out. If we’re awake, we see evidence of this everyday.

And this is also true: there is a power and a magic within us that creates worlds. We are truly remarkable creatures. Let’s not forget this, okay?

Remembering the Truth About Change

Change is a tricky and beautiful process.  I’m endlessly amazed at our ability to transform, shift, and create, whether that’s new habits, new mindsets, or new lives.  But I’m also aware how change is often a slow and winding process that can leave us feeling stuck, discouraged, and convinced we’re failing.  Whatever process of change I’m in at the moment, I find it goes a whole lot better if I remember the following:

Change is energy work.  Forming habits, shifting patterns, and creating something new involves working with and moving the energy of our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.  Energy is dynamic.  It expands and contracts.  It’s always on the move.  The energetic expansion that comes with a breakthrough, insight, or step forward is often followed by a contraction as our system recalibrates, as the energy seeks new equilibrium, and as the old, dying thing fights for its life.  This might not feel so good.  It may feel like you’ve lost the thread.  All of this is normal.  Be gentle with yourself when there is big, energetic movement happening in your life and self.  Rest, drink water, cuddle with loved ones, all that good stuff.

Change is not about linear progress.  It is not about sustaining the energy of a breakthrough indefinitely.  Change is forgetting, remembering, then forgetting again.  It’s a process of laying new tracks in our brains, step by step, through conscious attention and intention.

Change is deeper than the things we’re building from and around it, whether that’s states of being (like feeling more calm, grounded, and clear), habits (numbers of days in a row we've meditated or gone to the gym), or tangible creations (words written, meals cooked, canvasses painted).  Real, sustainable, durable change happens when we go back in after we’ve missed a day, fallen off the wagon, or drifted from our calm, clear center.  It’s the shift we create within when we notice where we are, allow ourselves to be there, look around for the lost thread, and pick it up where we find it to try again. 

When you’re in the midst of a messy transformation, what do you most need to remember?  How can you show yourself love, gentleness, and care in the midst of the changes, chosen or unchosen, rocking your world?