About nine months ago, I had an idea to create some tarot art.
I remember the night I created my first image (a recreation of the Moon card) -- and what it felt like to follow the whim of an idea, holding it lightly but also feeling unstoppable, as I half-watched a movie with my sweetheart.
I think about this moment a lot. Because it was the beginning of something important.
That first step evolved into something more. Art became a thread that tied me together + tethered me to a grounding, supportive practice + gave me something magical + alive to explore in a hard time.
This opening into art + creativity in a hard collective moment reminds me of how, sometimes, the tough stuff can burn away the bullshit + open a way to something more + something deeper.
Not always. And often not at first. Sometimes life is just a mess, and we need to devote all of our energy to surviving + making it through. That’s real + okay -- and I’ve been there too.
But sometimes, the hard moments create a space of freedom + clarity + imperative. Sort of like: I don’t know what’s going to happen + I’m scared/sad/angry about that, so why not create the most magic I can? Because what else is there to do?
And if things are going to collapse, why not add the made up “rules” that keep me small + hiding to that list?
I’ve often found that in hard times my reasons for not doing what feels alive to me just feel less + less compelling.
And certain kinds of fear feel less + less relevant.
Over the past year, I was scared a lot -- about the pandemic + what was happening in our social + political life. But that’s all the fear I had bandwidth for really. Any fear I might have felt around making + sharing art seemed almost absurdly inconsequential.
So this might be something to look for when things get hard + begin to shake, crumble, or shatter around you. What survives the fire? What still matters? What’s still worthy of the limited energy + resources you have? What, even in the rubble, sparks in your heart + makes you feel alive?
In my experience, these are the clues + touchstones for the path forward -- the things that help us cope, connect, and create -- the treasures that remind us that what matters most is still present, possible, and making its way toward us, alive + unstoppable.
Just like you.